It's been a busy week. Brian has been in Singapore and will be there until next Friday so the lads have been pushing the boundaries with me at times, but generally they've just been missing him, so keeping busy has been a must.
Last week at the local pool, where the boys do their swimming lessons, was "lifesaving week". Tuesday came and Alfie was very excited as he'd been told to wear some of his old pyjamas for his lesson. The agony of which ones would be the most cool to wear....(!) Anyway, when we got there it was really very good. Each group was taught what they should and shouldn't try to do if they were in the situation where somebody needed help, or indeed if they need help themselves. They worked in pairs and took turns to be the victim or rescuer. The children all behaved really well for once because it was all so new and interesting. Alfie even used the experience as his "news" to tell the class at school. Ru's lesson is on a Friday, and he hadn't been asked to wear PJs so we assumed they wouldn't try to teach such skills to 3 and 4 year olds. Remarkably he had almost exactly the same lesson as Alf. They were repeatedly told that they must never jump in to try to help, but from throwing out a toy, towing people back in and yelling for help, the lesson was the same. I was most impressed I must say. Ru took to it like a duck to water and when his teacher pretended to fall in just as the lesson was ending, I'm proud (and amazed!) to say he was the first to pick up a polystyrene "woggle" and lie at the side to try towing her back.
Then came Alfie's school art show. Now I was obviously always going, as one does to show support for such events, but I can't say I was expecting much of a primary school art show. I was wrong. They do such amazing stuff. There was a photography exhibition by Year 4s (around10yrs old) which anybody would be proud to put their name to. There were sculptures made from recycled items, paintings, models, clothes designed and made by older students. Alfie's year had several projects on display, with Alfie himself having 4 paintings all showing outer space. Just lovely, and he was sooo delighted to show them off to us. Then to cap it all, the school takes part in a "seeds" program called Robotics. In the library the children involved in this were displaying their dancing robots, which move around to music. It was fascinating, and I had to keep reminding myself " This is a primary school, the oldest these kids can be is 11or 12" !!
As an extra special treat we had drive-through "Red Rooster" roast chicken and chips take-away on the way home. It's something we do so rarely that the boys love it and eat every bite every time.
When the weekend dawned with no Daddy, Grandma and I were keen to keep on the go. We went to the playpark for an hour or two, until Ru fell off his scooter and removed last weekend's large scab from his elbow. It was bad enough that he was actually leaving a trail of red drips as he ran back to me, so with a tissue clutched to him we went home to look for a Gruffalo plaster from the medicine box. Later in the afternoon we went visiting friends and sat drinking tea and eating some very delicious home made sausage rolls while the Children played some more.
Sunday we went to Bunnings (-read B&Q) after mass to get some compost, pots and plants. We spent the afternoon creating a herb tub and planting out pea seedlings. I ran out of compost before we got to plant up the tomatoes, lettuce and courgettes so will have to make another trip, but the boys didn't let that bother them. They just carried on digging and watering in one of the border areas in the garden. When I asked Ru what he was doing with his bucket of mud and water, he proudly explained that he was making giant food - of course, why hadn't I realised?
Amongst all this, we got news that our old house has been re-let so we can finally give back the keys and stop paying rent on it a mere 3 weeks after moving out (all due to the situation of breaking our lease and moving on regardless, as we needed some positive action). This is great news, but required Mum and I to go and clean the windows and give the place a general once over before the keys went back. I suspect window cleaning isn't entirely among my list of recommended activities, but apart from feeling exhausted afterwards, I did ok, and I tell myself it was a good test of my physical recovery.
So today began another week. Alfie was back at school. A man came to try to sort out our green swimming pool, but ended up going away again and saying his colleague will be back tomorrow- the fourth visit to what I'm starting to believe might be a large duck pond if we're not careful. Ru made more giant food and spent much of the day being a baby lizard. And this evening, both boys have been dancing to Buena Vista Social Club, one of our CDs which emerged, as things always do, as a result of the move.
Now to bed. Ru's there already, Alfie's just going, and I won't be too long behind them I suspect. Sweet dreams...
Monday 19 September 2011
Tuesday 13 September 2011
My recent journey.
I've not been blogging much recently, in fact I was rather shocked to see how long ago my last post was. Thing is, and I'm sure most of you know this already, I've not been all that well of late. That is to say, the doctors tell me I haven't. I've been feeling as well as ever. But about 6 weeks ago I found a very tiny lump in one boob and thought I'd better get it double checked "just to be on the safe side". GP thought it was probably nothing, but she'd send me for a mammogram and ultrasound to make sure. Thinking nothing of it I walked in to the breast clinic 3 days later. By the time I walked out, I'd had 2 biopsies as well, and I knew there was probably more to this thing than I'd hoped.
Early the following week the results were in, and I was sitting looking at the same GP as she told me I had a form of breast cancer called DCIS which usually stays in the milk ducts and is eminently treatable. In fact they even dare say curable if it has not come out of the duct, like a dangerous criminal that can't harm others provided he's kept locked up. "The best of the worst" news.
Neither of us slept for a couple of nights, but then I found I just had to stop panicking, keep a brave face for the boys, look at what I could do for my own health and wait to see what the specialists said, and with that came an odd sense of calm.
Within four days I'd seen a consultant and he'd scheduled me in for surgery the following week. A total mastectomy. B was shocked as everything he'd read and everyone he'd spoken to had said this thing usually just required a lumpectomy. I was not, as the Radiographer who took my initial mammogram had told me whatever she was seeing was in several different areas of the same breast. "Just take it off and get these cells out of my body" was all I could think. There'd be time later to lament the loss and consider reconstrucive surgery.
Within a few days my Mum had arrived to help out. She'd be needed while I was in hospital to look after the boys and what a great support for me too. I'm so lucky to have her and that she's so fearless to be prepared to travel alone to the other side of the world. My Mum-in law was also just as ready to come if needed, and it was decided that we'd see how things went and if I needed extended care, I might well be needing her later.
Thursday 18th August. Half past seven and I'm admitted for my op. I had to have some radioactive stuff injected into my boob in the morning and a CT scan taken to detect the main lymph drainage node from the breast - the sentinel node. The idea was to take this out at the start of the op, get it checked while I was in theatre, and if there was any sign of cancer cells they'd go right ahead and remove all the lymph nodes in my whole armpit (an axillary clearance). I prayed and prayed that they wouldn't have to do this. Bigger op, plus it would mean there were signs of spread so it was important to me that this was all clear. It was. When I came round in the recovery room, I heard the recovery nurse hand over to the nurse taking me back to the ward. "Right mastectomy and sentinel node biopsy" she said. Even in my half conscious state I waited to hear her continue with "also total axillary clearance". She did not. I actually asked the new nurse while we were in the lift going back up to the ward. She checked her papers and agreed that there was no mention of it. I could have cried with delight, something was going my way after all.
I won't go into the rest of my hospital stay. Let me just say the staff were incredible, the food was great and I wasn't in any real pain cos they'd cut through so many nerves it was more numb than painful. They let me out after 5 days and I went home to be pampered some more by Mum and Brian and the boys.
Later that week the results were available of all the pathology tests they do on the breast. The lymph node was totally clear of cancer on extensive further testing, but some of the cancer had indeed made its way out of the ducts and into my breast tissue. Bugger. However he was quick to assure me it was such a tiny amount that it was considered negligible, and he felt sure no chemo or radiotherapy would be required. The oncology specialists agreed and I have been put on a tablet called Tamoxifen for 5 years to keep any errant cells under control. I hope very much that they are right and I have to trust their judgement and be delighted that I won't have to undergo any more extreme treatment.
Throughout all of this, the mums at Alfie's school have been incredible. Mum literally didn't cook a meal for the whole time I was in hospital and for 2 weeks after. Every day somebody would appear with a dinner either half cooked and just needing a bit more oven time or totally ready and just needing a reheat. When we needed a second car for taking the boys to school while Brian took me to hospital, a "spare" car was donated for 4 days, keys given over without question. The boys were taken out on playdates, picked up from school, dropped to sports lessons. Nothing has been too much trouble for these people who I've known for less than 6 months. As well as being a huge help it's been an enormous boost to morale.
So here I am, nearly a month on and I'm feeling great. Well, as well as could be reasonably expected after having a part of you removed. I still get tired a bit quicker than normal and there's a small amount of discomfort at times, but really I'm very well indeed, and definitely feeling more like my usual self. I take Alfie to school in the morning and somebody always asks how I am, and as I reply how well I feel and thank them for their support I invariably well up with unexpected tears and embarrass us both.
The whole episode is somewhat surreal. I never really felt ill, and due to the fantastic medical cover we have and the system here I hardly had time to stop and panic. Although I will perhaps never trust my body in quite the same way as I once did, I'm coming out the other side with a different perspective on what is important in life and a renewed faith in other people.
And my biggest hope right now is that I am indeed coming out the other side of all this.
Early the following week the results were in, and I was sitting looking at the same GP as she told me I had a form of breast cancer called DCIS which usually stays in the milk ducts and is eminently treatable. In fact they even dare say curable if it has not come out of the duct, like a dangerous criminal that can't harm others provided he's kept locked up. "The best of the worst" news.
Neither of us slept for a couple of nights, but then I found I just had to stop panicking, keep a brave face for the boys, look at what I could do for my own health and wait to see what the specialists said, and with that came an odd sense of calm.
Within four days I'd seen a consultant and he'd scheduled me in for surgery the following week. A total mastectomy. B was shocked as everything he'd read and everyone he'd spoken to had said this thing usually just required a lumpectomy. I was not, as the Radiographer who took my initial mammogram had told me whatever she was seeing was in several different areas of the same breast. "Just take it off and get these cells out of my body" was all I could think. There'd be time later to lament the loss and consider reconstrucive surgery.
Within a few days my Mum had arrived to help out. She'd be needed while I was in hospital to look after the boys and what a great support for me too. I'm so lucky to have her and that she's so fearless to be prepared to travel alone to the other side of the world. My Mum-in law was also just as ready to come if needed, and it was decided that we'd see how things went and if I needed extended care, I might well be needing her later.
Thursday 18th August. Half past seven and I'm admitted for my op. I had to have some radioactive stuff injected into my boob in the morning and a CT scan taken to detect the main lymph drainage node from the breast - the sentinel node. The idea was to take this out at the start of the op, get it checked while I was in theatre, and if there was any sign of cancer cells they'd go right ahead and remove all the lymph nodes in my whole armpit (an axillary clearance). I prayed and prayed that they wouldn't have to do this. Bigger op, plus it would mean there were signs of spread so it was important to me that this was all clear. It was. When I came round in the recovery room, I heard the recovery nurse hand over to the nurse taking me back to the ward. "Right mastectomy and sentinel node biopsy" she said. Even in my half conscious state I waited to hear her continue with "also total axillary clearance". She did not. I actually asked the new nurse while we were in the lift going back up to the ward. She checked her papers and agreed that there was no mention of it. I could have cried with delight, something was going my way after all.
I won't go into the rest of my hospital stay. Let me just say the staff were incredible, the food was great and I wasn't in any real pain cos they'd cut through so many nerves it was more numb than painful. They let me out after 5 days and I went home to be pampered some more by Mum and Brian and the boys.
Later that week the results were available of all the pathology tests they do on the breast. The lymph node was totally clear of cancer on extensive further testing, but some of the cancer had indeed made its way out of the ducts and into my breast tissue. Bugger. However he was quick to assure me it was such a tiny amount that it was considered negligible, and he felt sure no chemo or radiotherapy would be required. The oncology specialists agreed and I have been put on a tablet called Tamoxifen for 5 years to keep any errant cells under control. I hope very much that they are right and I have to trust their judgement and be delighted that I won't have to undergo any more extreme treatment.
Throughout all of this, the mums at Alfie's school have been incredible. Mum literally didn't cook a meal for the whole time I was in hospital and for 2 weeks after. Every day somebody would appear with a dinner either half cooked and just needing a bit more oven time or totally ready and just needing a reheat. When we needed a second car for taking the boys to school while Brian took me to hospital, a "spare" car was donated for 4 days, keys given over without question. The boys were taken out on playdates, picked up from school, dropped to sports lessons. Nothing has been too much trouble for these people who I've known for less than 6 months. As well as being a huge help it's been an enormous boost to morale.
So here I am, nearly a month on and I'm feeling great. Well, as well as could be reasonably expected after having a part of you removed. I still get tired a bit quicker than normal and there's a small amount of discomfort at times, but really I'm very well indeed, and definitely feeling more like my usual self. I take Alfie to school in the morning and somebody always asks how I am, and as I reply how well I feel and thank them for their support I invariably well up with unexpected tears and embarrass us both.
The whole episode is somewhat surreal. I never really felt ill, and due to the fantastic medical cover we have and the system here I hardly had time to stop and panic. Although I will perhaps never trust my body in quite the same way as I once did, I'm coming out the other side with a different perspective on what is important in life and a renewed faith in other people.
And my biggest hope right now is that I am indeed coming out the other side of all this.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)